Moment of Surrender: When Is It Okay to Surrender?
- Rev. Dr. Chris Holder
- 11 hours ago
- 3 min read
The late summer into early fall often means one thing in many parts of the USA: the beginning of the football season. Whether its NFL, College, High School, or Pee Wee, football remains by far the most popular sport in this country. In much of the rest of the world, football or futbol, the version with the round ball that players kick around the field (aka American “soccer”) is by far the most popular sport.
Some levels of football practice the “mercy rule,” which basically means that once one team is up by enough points the game is called. In six-man football for example, when one team holds a 45-point lead at halftime or at any point after, the game ends immediately. In essence, the team who is far enough behind is forced to “surrender.” The theme of surrender remains a prominent one for me. This is likely in part because at my core I tend to be competitive, enjoy conflict, and hate losing.
Therefore, despite not liking the idea of surrender, I’m often reminded of my need to surrender as a follower of Jesus. In what I call the “hug your cactus” journey, this idea of surrender is understood to be the invitation from Jesus to “die to self” or “ego.” You cannot “die to self” without a willingness to surrender—surrendering your own desire and will for the sake of others.
When Jesus is in the garden the night of his arrest and betrayal, He knows what is coming—taking on the sin of the world, death on the cross—and he is asking the Father for a Plan B. If there is another way to accomplish His mission, He is ready to hear it. This amazing exchange shows the humanity of Jesus. He is God. He can make it all go away. No one can take his life. He must give it away. So, what does he do? He surrenders his will, saying,
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).
Jesus surrenders his will to death, even death on a cross. Yes, on Easter Sunday he will rise again, but this does not minimize the pain and suffering of the cross. This does not minimize the physical beatings he took, the agony of bearing the sins of the world, a pain that caused him to cry out the words of David, “My God my God why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34). This serves as a powerful reminder as to why people, in general, and me specifically, don’t like to surrender. Surrender is hard, surrender is admitting you can’t do it yourself—that you have been beaten or that you might be wrong.
The musician Bono named his own autobiography Surrender. In this book, there is a chapter called “Moment of Surrender,” where he unpacks the idea of surrender, first around the idea of letting go.
“The moment of surrender is the moment you choose to lose control of your life, the split second of powerlessness where you trust that some kind of “higher power” better be in charge, because you certainly are not” (p. 541).
Here, he is echoing the wisdom of recovery through the 12 Steps, which begin with an admission that you are powerless over something by yourself; namely, you need help. Even Jesus recognized His limitations as a human. He needed help from the Father.
So, how much more do you and I need to admit our own need for help? How much more do we need to accept that we better not be in charge (because if we are, we are doomed)?
Bono also takes a posture towards surrender I had not considered before, one that asks the question Should I? instead of Can I?. It moves from shallow victories to avoiding unnecessary conflict.
“Maybe I am discovering that surrender does not have to always follow defeat and maybe all the fuller after victory. When you’ve won the argument and now understand you never needed to have. The argument with your life that’s no longer necessary” (p. 545).
Rather than weakness, surrender becomes the path to wisdom. Jesus exemplified perfect surrender by offering Himself to the Father’s will and in so doing secured our redemption. The moment of surrender is not defeat—it is the doorway to peace, purpose, and hope.