Hug Your Cactus: A Call Day Confession
- Rev. Dr. Chris Holder
- Jun 30
- 3 min read
Call Day is an annual event in the Lutheran Church Missouri-Synod (LCMS). It takes place at our two Seminaries in St. Louis and Fort Wayne. On Call Day, graduating students formally receive their first ministry placement and assignment, which is referred to as a “call.”
Call Day at Concordia Seminary in St. Louis on April 30th was of particular interest and importance to me this year. Our two vicars (pastor interns) at Bethel in Dallas, Walker and Jonas, formally received their calls to serve as pastors Bethel, ordination in September. Jonas (originally from The Congo) and Walker (originally from Brazil) are not just my co-workers, they are dear friends. We have spent the last four years working together and learning from each other, and I am truly a better person to have them part of my life. Therefore, I had Call Day circled on my calendar for several months. I was not going to miss this celebration for the world!
Except, I did miss it! I had a scheduled flight for 11:30 out of Dallas that day that would put me in St. Louis by 1:15 that afternoon, plenty of time to not only make the evening service but also the preceding reception. I was so looking forward to sharing those occasions with these dear brothers and others who helped shape their formation. Yet, as I headed to the airport, I got notice of a delay. An electric storm had descended on Dallas, grounding all planes.
Waiting at the airport, I watched the flight board flash “delayed” or “cancelled” on flight after flight. The storm ended up lasting about four hours. It was strange to walk around Love Field seeing no flights taking off or landing.
By the time the storms ended and the flight ban was lifted, it was after 4:00. There was a flight at 5:15 that would still allow me a chance to make the service. But alas, that flight ended up delayed till 6:30, sealing my fate—I would not make it in person.
In the midst of this, I was trying hard to “hug my cactus” and not let my uncontrollable circumstances bring me down. Yet, eventually, I started down the dark path of a pity party. As I watched the service being live-streamed from my plane seat, I thought about what I was missing and how I was letting the guys down. Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that I was making it about me. Instead of celebrating for Jonas and Walker, knowing they understood that they already had my full support, I focused on what I was missing out on and the attention I wasn’t getting.
To make matters worse, when I arrived in St. Louis, my bag was not there. It ended up in Milwaukee as a result of the chaos and confusion in Dallas. By then, my pity party had reached its peak. Several people texted to see how I was doing, but nothing seemed to help. I even questioned the sincerity of one person’s prayers on my behalf. To her credit, she called me out—threatening to take back the prayers and scolding me to get over myself.
It was at that point I realized the depths to which I had stooped. I apologized for being a selfish dope and received much needed forgiveness. Then, my attitude started to improve. I was able to text my congratulations to Jonas and Walker, and they were very gracious in receiving it, thanking me for all of my support over the years. The reality was they did not need me there. This day was about them, and more importantly, Jesus, who called them to follow Him in this awesome way. It certainly was not about me. Unfortunately, this is something for which I need frequent reminding.
When I went to the counter to get my rental car, the worker greeted me and asked me how my day was going. I mentioned that I had been delayed several hours in Dallas. He looked at my shirt and replied, “Oh, then you really have been hugging your cactus.” I was wearing my “Hug Your Cactus” t-shirt. Apparently, I had not been in front of enough mirrors that day to catch the irony and contemplate its meaning.
To hug your cactus is to die to self or “ego.” On Call Day, rather than taking a back seat to others, my ego needed to be noticed and approved. When that did not happen, I sadly made the day about me and had to take some personal responsibility for taking that out on others. So, in the end, missing Call Day turned out to be the best thing for me after all. Jonas, Walker, and I will have other opportunities to celebrate their accomplishments together.
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