Medscape, Ministry, and the Myth of Being Ready

From the hospital to the ministry, I’ve learned the same lesson: knowledge matters, but it won’t carry you when the weight hits. True leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about pointing to the One who does.

When I finally graduated from nursing school, I thought I had the tiger by the tail. I knew my textbooks inside and out. I had aced my labs, memorized drug cards, and convinced myself I was ready to hit the floor running.

But when I stepped into a hospital unit for the first time, it felt less like holding a tiger and more like I was being eaten by the tiger. I was drowning! All the book smarts in the world didn’t prepare me for the chaos of real patients, with real families, and real complications that don’t fit neatly into the textbook.

For the first two years as an RN, my lifeline was the Medscape app. I kept it open constantly, double-checking labs, drug interactions, side effects, and disease processes. I wasn’t just caring for a patient; I was carrying the weight of their life. If I got it wrong, someone could die. The knowledge was important, but it wasn’t enough. I had to learn, on the move, what it meant to care not just for a diagnosis but for a human being made in God’s image.

Fast forward a decade. I found myself finishing seminary. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson about “being ready,” but no, I graduated thinking I had a pretty firm grasp on my theology. After all, I had been reading Luther, parsing Greek verbs, and debating theology. Surely this time I’d have the tiger by the tail.

Wrong again.

The first time I sat across from someone in a pastoral role, whether at a Bible study, in prayer, or leading a group of men, the same sinking, drowning feeling hit me. Seminary gave me knowledge, but ministry requires more. Caring for the body in a hospital is weighty, but caring for souls? That’s eternal. I can’t shake the thought: if I fail here, the consequences are far heavier than a wrong med dose or missed lab value.

And so once again, I find myself reaching for my “Medscape.” Only now it’s Scripture—it’s prayer, godly counsel from brothers and mentors, and yes, even conversations like this one where I test, refine, and clarify what I believe and teach. Just like in nursing, book knowledge is crucial, but it doesn’t cover the emotional, spiritual, and relational strain of real ministry. You only learn that by showing up, again and again.

This is where leadership enters the picture. I’ve always gravitated toward leadership roles, whether in nursing, on teams, or in the workplace. Leading in the Word, though, is a whole different ballgame. With our men’s group at the Christ Greenfield Groves Bible study, The Upper Room, I constantly feel the weight of responsibility. And honestly, I often feel unqualified. I question my knowledge, my skills, my ability to lead men who are older, wiser, or further along in life.

But here’s the thing: leadership in God’s kingdom has never been about being “enough.” It’s about faithfulness, not perfection. It’s about pointing people to the One who actually is enough.

That’s why Paul’s words in Romans 8:28 have become such an anchor for me: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called. Nursing taught me that in the ICU. Seminary is teaching me that in ministry. And leadership continues to press it into my heart.

The truth is, I don’t have all the answers. I’m still learning, still fumbling, still looking things up, still leaning on others. And maybe that’s exactly the point. Because leadership isn’t about projecting confidence. It’s about practicing dependence—dependence on God, dependence on His Word, dependence on His Spirit.

Caring for bodies reminded me of the urgency of life. Caring for souls reminds me of the weight of eternity. Both have taught me that learning is lifelong, growth is uncomfortable, and leadership is often forged in the places we’d rather avoid. But both also remind me of this:

I am not enough. But He is.

That’s the only way I know how to lead. That’s the only way any of us can. Whether you’re leading in a church, in your family, or in your workplace, don’t wait until you “feel ready.” You won’t. Step in anyway, with trembling hands and a trusting heart. God is faithful to equip those He calls, and His good is always for our good, because His love is never selfish.

So, if you catch me scrolling Scripture like it’s Medscape, just know I’m still learning, still leading, and still trusting. And maybe that’s what true leadership really looks like.

uniteleadership.org

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