I don’t like going to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Who does? There are long lines and mostly grumpy workers. I’m grumpy when I’m there…and I’m rarely grumpy. So God, in His wisdom, created Third Party DMV’s. You pay a bit more to not be as grumpy. Shorter lines lead to quicker service which leads to smiles. Big smiles. Most of the time.
Our 16-year-old son lost his driver’s license. Then, he got stopped for slowly veering into another lane. A police officer saw him weave and pulled him over. It was ten o’clock on a casual Friday night, and my wife and I were enthralled by a documentary about a goofy Mormon family with abuse issues. Maybe you’ve seen that one. Appallingly mesmerizing.
My son’s phone had died, so he used his friend’s phone to call us. “Mom, I just got pulled over.”
“Why?”
“I guess I weaved into the other lane…”
The officer took over. “Yes, ma’am. Your son’s car has bad alignment. It’s quite an old car, ma’am (he drives a 1996 Honda Del Sol). He also doesn’t have his driver’s license, ma’am. He showed me a picture of it on his phone. That being said, I’m just giving him a warning. Have a good night.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.” My wife hung up.
Our son should have been left in the dust of the law. Yet, he received the grace of God. That could have been much worse.
The next day was a slower Saturday. Errand day. My son needed a replacement license, and my daughter just turned eighteen and needs her Travel Driver’s License (the one with the attractive star) before some summer flights. I took them both. Two birds—one stone.
You may ask where I went to get this needed task accomplished? The Third Party DMV, duh. (You didn’t need to ask that question.) I piled both teens in the car. We were on a mission—to leave the regular DMV in the dust of our Third Party experience.
Evidently, twenty other people had the same idea. Ugh.
We took our number—B461. They were on B454. This should not be too bad.
I was wrong. Forty-five minutes went by.
“I thought this was supposed to be fast, Dad,” my kids complained.
“Me, too.” Another thirty minutes passed. We were finally called. Come on, Third Party DMV. Seventy-five minutes is too long. We’ve all been there.
“License and two proofs of address,” she expressionlessly said.
“Uh. I thought her up to date driver’s license should be enough. I’m her Dad. She lives at my house. Here is her birth certificate. Why isn’t that enough?”
“It’s not, sir. You need another proof of residence.”
I just stared at her, heart rate increasing, mind racing.
“You can PDF me a document, sir.”
Frantic, my daughter took out her phone and pulled up her student ID. I showed it to the woman. It had her address. Very clear. It couldn’t be more clear.
“I need a PDF emailed to me.”
Ugh. Okay. Think, Tim. I downloaded a PDF scanner app. Took a picture of her school ID on her phone and converted it into a PDF. So brilliant.
“Okay. I just emailed you the PDF.”
She walks…slowly…to another computer. Five minutes go by. She walks slowly back, expressionless face. “This is a PDF of the picture, sir. I need a PDF that is not a picture.”
All this time, while I’m trying to troubleshoot proving my daughter has lived under my roof all eighteen years of her life, my son easily gets his replacement driver’s license. No extra proof of residence needed.
Government.
“Why didn’t you check what was needed, Dad?” my son asked.
“Not sure, Son, not sure.”
I paused and turned to my son. “Why didn’t you get a ticket last night? You didn’t even have a license…”
“Not sure, Dad, not sure.”
We left the Third Party DMV, and our expressionless friend, having accomplished half of our goal. I felt like a loser.
What is the moral of this blog?
Life and ministry will not always go as you expect. Plan as well as you can, and admit when you mess up. I messed up. I should have read the dumb DMV rules.
On the defeated drive home I asked both of my teens, “Would you want to work at the Third Party DMV?”
In unison, they said, “No. Not at all.”
Hope this failure fueled a smile on your face as you begin your Lenten journey to the cross and empty tomb of Jesus! He smiles over you. Smile back.
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